Who Are You Competing Against?

2 Corinthians 10:12 “…When they measure themselves by themselves and compare themselves with themselves, they are not wise.”

 

Just a few hours after the 10K, the race results glared on the screen in front of me. Every single person who finished the race could be searched. From the winner all the way to the last person who crossed the finish line. Plugging in my name, I viewed my results. There in front of me I could see my total time and average pace.

Just as I was starting to feel good about my accomplishment, I looked at the next column over and saw another set of numbers: Number in age group; my placement in that specific age group; my placement in the entire race. A lot of other women in my age bracket finished sooner than I did! Now I didn’t feel so good about my time. Shouldn’t I be able to run at a faster pace like these women my same age? Feelings of defeat washed over me.

To make myself feel better, I searched the results of women 20 years older than me. Now as I scrolled through finish times longer than mine, I felt a sense of pride. Well, at least I beat these women.  I didn’t come in last place.

Unless we’re the first one to cross the finish line, there will always be someone faster than us. But if we focus on comparing ourselves to these people, we’ll be left with disappointment. The opposite is true as well. If we compare ourselves to slower runners just to feel better about ourselves, we get puffed up with pride and a false sense of security.

In the same way, we sometimes mimic this behavior in other areas of our life. When we compare ourselves to people who are more successful, wiser and richer we find ourselves feeling defeated. I should be further along, like her.  Before we know it, we continue the comparison game. To brush off these feelings, we turn our attention to those whom we feel are beneath us. Those who may be struggling in areas we are strong in. Those who are just beginning a journey we’ve been on for years. At least I’m better than those people.

Oh how foolish we are to do both of these! Gazing at others ahead of us—through the lens of comparison—leaves us discontent. Looking at those who are struggling—through a lens of judgment— leaves us prideful.  Instead of comparing, shouldn’t we focus on where we are? Shouldn’t we strive to live the life God has called us to? Using the gifts and talents He’s blessed us with to fulfill our purpose—instead of comparing them to others.

When we stand before God one day we won’t be standing alongside anyone else. Each one of us must give an account for the life we lived. God won’t scroll through a list of people and say, Look, you should’ve done better than her. And he won’t say, Great job, you performed better than these other people.

Most runners embrace a PR approach in races. Personal Record. Instead of comparing our finish time with other runners, we compare our finish time to our own time in a previous race. We attempt to beat our best time. The person we aim to compete with is ourselves.

Maybe that’s how we should approach this journey of faith we’re on. Instead of comparing our lives to others, we focus on making progress with our own struggles. Instead of judging others, we embrace humility, thanking God for rescuing us from our previous ways of sin. And when we conquer one area of sin, He takes us further and shows us something else.

READY? Can you identify an area of your life where you compare yourself to someone else? What effect does this have on you? Ask God to reveal a current struggle you need to commit to him.

GET SET. Galatians 6:4 “Pay careful attention to your own work, for then you will get the satisfaction for a job well done, and you won’t need to compare yourself to anyone else.” (NLT)

 GO!  Heavenly Father, forgive me for the times I’ve foolishly compared myself to others. Free me from any chains of discontentment or pride. Give me direction to focus on the life you’ve called me to. Help me walk in humility. Give me victory over the sins I struggle with. Amen

comparison

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Blessings to you!

Lisa Preuett

What’s Your REAL LIFE?

A few months ago, I asked people on Facebook if they ever felt discouraged scrolling through countless pictures where everyone looked perfect, polished and everything seemed so positive. And then I came out of my comfort zone and posted the following pics:

reallife1 reallife3 Dirty dishes…Overflowing laundry

reallife2 reallife4 Nasty sink…No makeup

 

The response I got from people was overwhelming. Many said my post and pics were refreshing and encouraging to them. Some agreed that they too felt discouraged by the false reality they see on Facebook.

It’s so easy to get caught up in the lie that everyone has it all together. Or that what you see on Facebook is what your life should look like. (And if you really want to take it a step further, check out Pinterest!)

Perfect kids. Immaculate homes. Tantalizing meals that could be on the cover of a magazine. Flawless and polished selfies. Yep. I’ve seen all of these. And yes, I have posted all of these. I’ve proudly posted my kids’ achievements, my exciting celebrations, and of course the perfect date night pics with my husband. I’ll even admit to taking 10 selfies before choosing the best one!

There’s nothing wrong in and of itself for us to post these things on social media. So please hear me out on this. I’m not saying we should all stop posting the highlights of our lives to share with friends and family.

But what I am saying is this:

 Let’s not compare the highlights of other people’s lives with the messy reality of our own lives. For every “highlight” pic you are viewing there are probably 10 other pics of real life you’re not seeing.

For the perfect date night pic you see of your friend, you’re not seeing the pic of the argument that spun out of control on the way home from that date.

For the polished pic of your old high school buddy, you’re not seeing the pic of what she looks like in the morning before she gets her makeup and hair in place.

For the pic of your neighbor’s kids playing their best at a competitive sports game, you’re not seeing the pic of that same kid having a melt-down the next morning getting ready for school.

For the pic of your co-worker’s gathering at her house with everything perfectly in place, you’re not seeing the pic of her house the day before where everything was a disaster and she was yelling at her kids and husband to help her get everything ready. (Why do I know so many details about this?)

For the pic of your friend’s perfectly healthy dinner, you’re not seeing the leftovers she served her family two nights in a row. Or (gasp!) the cheeseburgers and fries she desperately gave her kids from McDonald’s drive-through on the way to soccer practice.

It’s easy for us to fall into a rut of thinking that everyone has it all together. That nobody struggles with anything. That something must be wrong with us. And when we are bombarded with perfect images plastered all over social media, we buy into the perception of this false reality.

Our comparison of reality to something false only breeds disappointment, discouragement and insecurity. 

So what can we do differently? How do we avoid this trap?

I don’t think we should just delete all our social media accounts and say forget it. No, I think there’s a better solution.

Instead of always posting your BEST moments, how about courageously choosing some that aren’t so great? Choose to be REAL.

If my 4 pictures of a messy house and no makeup brought so much encouragement and refreshment to so many people, then what would happen if more of us did the same? What if we chose to be REAL and it trickled down to countless others who are definitely feeling the same way? Think about the ripple effect it could have.

Go ahead and be brave!

Show that pic of your dirty laundry (okay, maybe hide your husband’s underwear.)

Show that pic of your burnt dinner.

Show that pic of your living room littered with toys.

Show the clutter plastered in the floorboard of your car (yes, I’m talking about the fast-food wrappers, empty water bottles and sticky sippy cups.)

Show your “bad-hair” days!!!

It doesn’t even have to be a picture. Maybe a simple statement that you’re having a rough day…with your kids. With your spouse. With work. With life.

Will you join me? If you’re on social media, how about using the label #RealLife with your posts or pics? Whether it’s once a week or every other day, join me in encouraging others with reminders that we all struggle. We all have messes to clean up. We all have challenges with our kids, spouses or co-workers.

We don’t live in a false reality. We live in REAL LIFE!

RealLife

Blessings to you!

Lisa Preuett

Check out my book, Embracing The Race: 40 Devotions for the Runner’s Soul