Tag: forgiveness

Wounded with Words?

Lisa Preuett

Ephesians 4:29 ‘Let no unwholesome talk come out of your mouth, but only what is helpful for building others up, that it may benefit those who listen.’

This scripture cuts straight to the heart. Right to the core. Ouch!

I’m reminded of it when I’m tempted to say something unwholesome. But I’m often reminded of it after I’ve already said something unwholesome.

But what about when someone else gushes out the unwholesome talk? What do you do with this truth when someone else is not building you up? Maybe it feels like you’re being torn down instead.

Your spouse mutters something harsh.

Your child spurts out sass.

Your co-worker offends you.

Your neighbor calls you a name I can’t type out on this blog.

Yes. We’ve all had someone speak unwholesome words to us.

I want to bring up this verse to them in that moment. I yearn to spout off the memorized words as a rebuttal!

Don’t you know what God’s word says about how you’re speaking to me? Don’t you know how you’re coming across?

I open my Bible so I can see the verse up close–rubbing my finger across these powerful words. The whole time thinking that I deserve to be built up instead of torn down.

I’ve been the one to speak unwholesome words before.

But not this time.

I’ve been hurt with harsh words. Sassy words. Offensive words. Words that cut deep to my core. I even let out a prayer that goes something like this:

Jesus, I’m so upset right now. Did you hear what he/she said to me? Did you see that play out? Do you know how I feel right now?

Turning to verse Ephesians 4:29, I read it again. Feeling justified with how this person has indeed spoken unwholesome words to me, I let out a sigh.

Keep reading, Lisa.

What, Lord??

Keep going, there’s more.

Just three verses away from verse 29, I read verse 32. It knocks the breath out of me. I didn’t know this verse was here. 

Ephesians 4:32 “Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.”

After I let this powerful truth sink in, I realize something. Verse 32 is written on the tails of verse 29 for a reason. Don’t miss this!

Other people will speak unwholesome words to us. Other people will sometimes tear us down.

Yes, the standard is to speak wholesome words. Yes, the command is to build up.

But we live in a fallen world. We are surrounded by other sinners. We are sinners.

So when other people don’t live up to verse 29, I’m commanded to forgive them in verse 32. I might expect my loved ones to model verse 29, but I should be willing to forgive with the truth from verse 32.

I love how God inspired Paul to write these verses in this specific order! We should strive to weigh our words carefully. We should pray for our loved ones to do the same.

But when they don’t…(not IF!)

We go to the feet of Jesus and humbly ask him for the power and strength to FORGIVE.

There are times when we need to hold people accountable for their words.  Times to discipline children for their words. And sometimes people seek help for verbally abusive situations.

But ultimately we are still called to forgive.

It’s hard and I don’t always feel like doing it.

In those moments, we are given the choice to surrender our wounded heart to the one who forgave and continues to forgive us.

What about you? Do you struggle with speaking unwholesome words? How do you respond when someone speaks unwholesome words to you?

womancrying

 

Blessings to you!

Lisa Preuett

 

Who’s Your “One Another”?

Lisa Preuett

Ephesians 4:32 Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.

In the above scripture, it’s easy to skip over the “one another” and “each other” and think positive thoughts.

Yep, I ought to be kind and compassionate to other people. It’s the Christian thing to do. 

But what if you replace the “one another” with the name of someone you’re in conflict with? It dramatically changes and makes it more powerful. More personal. And honestly, more challenging.

How about the name of your spouse? A co-worker? Your boss?

If I’m in the midst of a spat with my husband, this verse cuts to the core of my heart pretty quick:

Be kind and compassionate to Jim, forgiving Jim, just as in Christ God forgave you.

When I personalize this verse to my situation, it does something amazing.

It brings power. It serves a purpose. And it ushers in God’s peace.

Go ahead, try it yourself. Insert the name of your spouse. A family member. A co-worker. Or that difficult boss.

Be kind and compassionate to ________, forgiving _______, just as in Christ God forgave you.

Here’s another one that works for those conflicts with our kids:

Colossians 3:13 Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.

Feel like you can’t bear another day with your strong-willed child?

Got any grievances against them?

Feel worn down by their constant challenges?

When I read through this verse and come to the each other and the one another, if I truly want to personalize it to MY specific situation, then I might as well go ahead and put in the name of my child.

Instead of a generic verse for all believers, it becomes God’s gentle whisper to my weary soul…

Lisa, bear with Breanna and forgive whatever grievances you may have against her. Forgive Breanna as I have forgiven you.

Wow. The power of God’s word changes everything. It speaks to our soul like nothing else can. Even if it’s not what we want to hear, it humbly soothes us where we need it most.

I often skip over the one anothers and each others in scripture and think this truth only applies to acquaintances or those strangers who cut me off in traffic. (It DOES apply to them too, but we’re most likely going to be challenged most with those closest to us.)

So, dear friend, what about you? Whose name do you need to insert into these powerful verses?

Who are you in conflict with?

Who has hurt you?

Who has upset you?

Who has offended you?

Who do you need to forgive?

I want to encourage and challenge you to take this a step further. Write out the verse, inserting the name of someone God brings to your mind, on a sticky note and place it where you can see it. Let it serve as a reminder to you.

A reminder of what God’s done for you.

A reminder of what he wants to do in you.

And what he can ultimately do through you.

ephesians_4_32_by_kcruss-d4ybzpk

Blessings to you!

Lisa Preuett

Check out my book, Embracing The Race: 40 Devotions for the Runner’s Soul