3 Things I’ve Learned From Painful Seasons


Nobody embraces it.

We absolutely hate it with every fiber of our being.

We avoid it at all costs.

But because we live in a broken world, it is part of life on this earth…for now.

Broken relationships.

Faltering health.

Wounds from the past.

Horrible tragedies.

I’ve experienced what feels like unbearable pain. Seasons of life where I thought I’d never survive.

But because of God….

I did survive. I did get through. I found His light at the end of my dark tunnel.

I don’t know about you, but the more I look back on these seasons of my life, I can honestly see a purpose in those painful times.

You mean, there can actually be something good that comes from pain????

As crazy as it sounds, yes.

My painful seasons of life all have these common threads.

*Pain makes me desperate.

What’s so good about feeling desperate? Feeling desperate is not something we usually crave. It creates feelings of panic, worry, and anxiety. Like a weak swimmer who’s drowning in the deep end of the pool, we cry out for help because we’re going under.

I’ve been desperate in the midst of  broken relationships. A failed marriage left me feeling very desperate. With a newborn and an uncertain future, I lived in survival mode and swirled around in desperation quite a bit.

*Pain leads me to be more dependent on God.

When the familiar things of life suddenly become unfamiliar and I’m venturing out into the unknown, I’m always more ready to lean on God. And unfortunately, even the people we think will love us most will leave us disappointed and hurting at times. It’s in those times when I see how much others have failed me that I can truly depend on God’s unfailing love. In a strange way that is hard to describe, it’s during these painful seasons that my dependence on God is strengthened.

*Pain gives me deeper compassion for others.

Once I’ve trudged through a painful season of life, I always discover something I didn’t notice before.

I now possess a unique compassion for others who are in the midst of the same kind of pain!

Because of what I’ve gone through, I gain an understanding and perspective in the midst of my pain. I am then able to recognize this same pain in others. Or when I hear someone share the hurt they’re going through, my heart has an instant connection with them. And this is where the purpose comes in.

The wounds from my previous pain now become stepping-stones, allowing me to enter into someone else’s world. A world where they think there is no hope. A world where they feel trapped. A world where they think nobody could possibly understand.

Even if I’m still feeling the hurt from my painful experience, I can still offer words of hope. I can honestly tell them, “I know how you feel…I’ve been there.”

Part of my own healing from painful wounds comes when I walk alongside someone else who is hurting. The fragile threads of my life that unraveled in my soul are now knitted back together, forming a cord of hope that someone else can cling to.

Your pain is not ever wasted. It’s not in vain. It serves the purpose of becoming more intimate with your Savior and comforting others on the same path. Here’s a few that stand out to me…

My sister-in-law, Holly, has allowed God to do an amazing work in her life in this way. She’s a survivor of sexual abuse. She experienced heart wrenching pain that threatened to swallow her up and leave her bitter. Yet she cried out to God and He has healed her hurting heart. She tells her story often and reaches out to others who are caught up in the same kind of pain. God uses her pain for a purpose.

Dear friends of ours, Brian and Amanda, lost their 18-month old son in a tragic accident a few years ago. They experienced such horrific pain and their world was shaken to the core. But they surrendered their lives to God through the journey and now help encourage and comfort others who have lost young children. God uses their pain for a purpose. 

My friend, Stacy, lost her beautiful daughter who was born prematurely. She lived for about 3 weeks. She spent those days in the newborn intensive care unit, watching her baby hanging on for life. Although her heart shattered in pieces, Stacy has allowed God to do a beautiful thing through her pain. She quilts blankets for babies in the NICU. She reaches out to other families who are waiting to see if their babies are going to make it. She gives genuine comfort to others because she knows the pain they feel. God uses her pain for a purpose.

Be encouraged dear friends! No matter what pain you are experiencing, God is with you. He knows.

Allow your desperation to turn into a strong dependence on the one who rescues and redeems. And let Him do more than rescue and redeem just you. He longs to work through your life to bring comfort and encouragement to others.

Let Him use your pain for His purpose. 

“Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God.” (2 Corinthians 1:4)

Blessings to you!


Check out my devotional book, Embracing The Race



Going Through and Not Around

John 4:4 “He had to go through Samaria on the way…”

The encounter of Jesus and the Samaritan woman is a story I’ve heard multiple times over the years. But I recently heard a message from Albert Tate that fleshed out this story in a fresh, radical way. It touched me so much I feel compelled to share it. I hope it impacts you as well.

When Jesus made the decision to go through Samaria, it was a huge ordeal. He was intentionally choosing to venture into a place that was hostile towards Jews. Samaritans and Jews clashed. Jews simply did NOT associate with Samaritans. At all!

And to get to where he needed to go, he did NOT have to go through this area. It was inconvenient. Out of the way.

But scripture says “had to go”?

Not for the sake of convenience, but for the sake of the gospel. The good news of the gospel is for everyone.

Even the Samaritans.

In his recent message, Albert Tate put it like this:

“When you follow Jesus you don’t go around Samaria, you go through Samaria. You don’t go around people, you engage people. People that don’t look like you, people that don’t vote like you. All people. Ministry is waiting on the other side of your discomfort.”

This really stirred up my heart.

I don’t want to be guilty of limiting my love to only those I feel comfortable with.

Or only to those who will love me back.

Am I truly letting the love of Jesus flow through me to everyone I encounter?

Do I ever avoid situations because certain people will be there?

In other words, do I purposely go around certain people instead of going straight through to them?

I’m honestly asking God to search my heart and show me where I don’t get this right. To show me those places, people and situations where He wants me to go through.

It’s easy to say that I’m being obedient to God’s call in ministry when I’m with people I can relate to.

I’m confident and comfortable pouring into single moms because I truly understand the path they are on. I have no problem running straight through to them!

I’m comfortable talking to women who struggle with depression and anxiety. I truly understand their hurting hearts. I’ve been there frequently! I’m fine with going through to where they are. I’ll even pull up a chair and savor coffee with them.

But what about someone who I have NOTHING in common with? What about women who don’t believe the same way I do? What about women from a different culture? Different political views? Different world view?

If I were sitting across from someone like this in a coffee shop, face-to-face, how would I respond?

Would I have the words to carry on a conversation? Would it feel awkward? Would I be uncomfortable? Would I feel like going around them even though I know I’m supposed to be right there with them?

I’m asking God to do a work in me so that no matter who I come in contact with, that He can use me.

To spread His love. Share His grace.

I don’t want to be known as a woman who avoids the uncomfortable, but chooses to share the comfort of Jesus.

I don’t want to be known as a woman who only loves the lovable, but shows grace to the unlovable.

Yes, I want to be a woman who engages all people, no matter what.

Lord help me not go around those you’ve put in my path, but to go straight through with the love and grace you’ve given to me.

Blessings to you!


Check out my devotional book, Embracing The Race.